Tribute to Hornsleth

Gordon Flink

"Could ya' write a page of hardcore for my upcoming art book?" asked Hornsleth one December day on Nansensgade, and gave me 1000 kroner up front.
"Of course," I said and took the money.
I proceeded to tapas and some drinks at Thermo and The Blonde Beast at Café Bankeråt, after which I lost the last 500 kroner waiting for a taxi later that night. Easy come, easy go.
Very symbolic. Hornsleth in a nutshell.
Now I'm sitting here and have to write a page about Hornsleth.
Hornsleth is a horned and horny horse that has galloped into art heaven.
Horsleth is sex and bitch and pictures with blood and porno shows and vampire bashes.
Hornsleth is rape jewelry with engraved declarations of love such as "Bored to death", "Fuck, kill, steal, burn", "Macho Bullshit", "Neo Proletarian" and "Rape me". Fuck me daddy.
Hornsleth is fake and theatrical blood and exclamation points and swastikas and Copenhagen psycho.
Hornsleth paints pictures with jewelry and clothing and posters he exhibits and sells and says are art, and they become that because Hornsleth takes his trip seriously.
Hornsleth is scintillating catch phrases such as "I learn geography when we are bombing new cities."
Hornsleth is fashion and suicide shirts and menstruation-jeans.
Hornsleth is oversized posters on glossy paper to hang above your divan.
Hornsleth is blood in glass and frames.
Hornsleth is brutal, at-home coziness.
Hornsleth is childish, anal-fixated, prepubescent and, at the same time, very adult.
Hornsleth is alpha and omega and anti and scared and scathed and calculating, commercial and megalomania.
Hornsleth dreamt once of paying all of the residents of an African village to change their name to Hornsleth and live off of producing Hornsleth products.
Hornsleth is the side effect of globalization nobody could predict.
Hornsleth is hated and Hornsleth is loved. And first and foremost Hornsleth is un-Danish because he thinks big.
Being Hornsleth is hard work. Hard work is hardcore. Therefore, Hornsleth is hardcore. Not so much because of blood and bitches and screaming and shooting, but because of his dedication, his passion.
Hornsleth is his brand.
Hornsleth is the proof of the statement: art is a brand, life is a brand, everything is a brand and it might have always been that way.
Hornsleth is impolite, ill-mannered, and politically incorrect.
Hornsleth is superficial, superfluous, and indispensable.
Hornsleth is the bursting red zit on the nose of art.
Hornsleth is the critics' wet nightmare.
Hornsleth is a child that has come to Earth for the first time and curiously explores possibilities and markets for profit and self realization.
Hornsleth is simultaneously very guilty and deeply innocent.
Hornsleth is Warholish. Hornsleth is his products. There is nothing under the surface. You get what you see and what you are is what you get and you get what you deserve so what the hell do you expect?
Hornsleth is "fuck you art lovers".

Fuck you who took art seriously and thought that it had to be so difficult or so beautiful or should be so demanding. FYAC! Haha, Hornsleth laughs in your face all the way to the bank.
Hornsleth is punk. Hornsleth doesn't analyze. Hornsleth takes action.
Hornsleth takes what is lying in front of him and makes it what is lying in front. What Hornsleth does is so obvious that one can fathom why there aren't more artists that do it and many more that have done it before.
Hornsleth doesn't want to make the world a better place; he throws it in our face.

Actually, I don't think that Hornsleth knows what he is for or against.
Hornsleth just is; like a polar bear, a Buddha, a street light, or a can of Cyklon B. Gas.
Hornsleth is just as much salesman as artist.
Hornsleth could sell sand in the Sahara, handcuffs in Abu Ghraib, tidal waves to Thailand or porno to child prostitutes.
Hornsleth is deranged and decadent.
Hornsleth is wild and crazy and the West in its most refined form.
And at the same time a reaction to it and a comment on it.
Hornsleth is both good and evil.
Hornsleth is soft and wise with a bite
And says it brutally because he knows it's healthy.
Hornsleth has humor, aesthetic, and loads of style.
Hornsleth has a house, a boat and a car.
Hornsleth is too little, just right, and too much.
Hornsleth is smoked and Hornsleth is complex and –
If you are in doubt:
Hornsleth is first and foremost Hornsleth.
The man that scratches his signature in everything and everybody around him.
Which is what we all are really trying to do all the time.
- so maybe we are all Hornsleths to God.

Gordon Inc., Danish writer based in Copenhagen, 2005

This text was published the first time in the book Fuck You Art Lovers Forever,
Kristian von Hornsleth, Futilistic Publishing, Copenhagen 2005.

You can buy the book on